The final wrap up of the dare…

Well, it is over…are we better for it? Did it do what we hoped? Did it encourage? Well…the answer is I think so!! The love dare is a process…The love dare is not a quick fix in my books…the long term implications may not be felt for a little while, but I can tell you this…
1. Wendy and I love each other very much!!
2. Wendy and I spent 4o days working on loving each other more!
3. Wendy and I had to talk about “us” for 40 days
4. Wendy and I had to be open and honest with the world and report how we were doing
5. I had to try everyday to spend time working on my marriage…

The list of things we had to do is long…
Look at these items that I listed…HOW COULD THIS NOT BE A GOOD THING!!!

Yes, we did fall off the wagon for the last few days…we were far from the perfect couple for the blogging etc…BUT – we were forced (nicely) to think about how we make “us” better everyday!

I am looking forward to the discussion on FULL CIRCLE on Friday…I got to spend time telling Wendy I love her, showing her I love her and than praying and thinking and talking to God about ways to make this marriage better…

I am honored that we were chosen…I am better off today than I was 40 days ago! I pray that watching this and following along helped you to focus on your marriage!

You know, Satan does not want us to succeed in our marriages! If he can get us so focused on other things, so focused on our own needs and what we want…on BEING HAPPY!!!, than we will focus our attention of things other than our marriage! I want to think about having a fantastic marriage. The great thing is this…no matter how good it is…it can be better!!

I look forward to continued work on our relationship privately…but if you continue to follow me on facebook, twitter or my website – you will see my blogs and other things pointing to my relationship with Wendy…My kids are important to me, my career is important to me…my friends and family are important…BUT if my marriage falls apart…well let’s just say, I will do everything in my power to live the love dare everyday of every year to ensure that GOD is #1 in our relationship and that WENDY knows I love her more than anything else…

So – I pray that you were as encouraged as we were…stay in touch!! goto www.kevinpauls.com sign up for my newsletter…

Thanks,

Kevin

The 585 word update

Please note: tried to give this update via webcam, but youtube said, and I quote, “This functionality is not available right now. Please try again later. ” So, I will update with words (guess I need at least 1000 to equal a picture??)

It’s Day 39.…and I’m feeling a bit discouraged. Not sure what happened exactly. Just lost the rhythm I guess. I don’t know if I have actually completed any of the Dares from the last few days. It’s true we have been busy – but I’m a believer that you make time for what’s important! So – that excuse doesn’t even hold water for me.

I started to lose steam with Day 33 which focused on including spouse with upcoming decisions. We do that all the time. Most mornings we spend 30 – 45 mins talking over coffee to start the day. And our talks frequently cover upcoming decisions, opportunities etc. So I guess in one sense, I have completed that dare. But I just didn’t feel like I had anything new to share – and I’m afraid people might be getting tired of the response “well, this is something we already do” BORING! LOL

Then came Day 34 – “Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.” We did talk about this one and could think of lots of christian character….but no recent examples. I even asked Kevin to help me find one about him. “honey, tell me a way your have demonstrated Christian character recently” I will say that the first thing that came to my mind when I read that one is that Kevin is very forgiving and doesn’t hold grudges.

Day 35 – we were actually speaking on the program via telephone on this day and Moira asked us about the christian mentor thing. And, we don’t have one. I think for at least the past 10 years, we have been the ones in the mentor role rather than the “mentees” (is that a word?) So, didn’t really know what to do about this dare.

Day 36 – commit to reading the Bible together daily. This is a good one!! While we didn’t start on Day 36, this is definitely one I want to continue!!

Day 37 - praying together. This is something we do…but could definitely do more of! Will try to focus on making Dare 36 and 37 regular habits.

Day 38 - “Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.” Can I really help Kevin become a Rock Star? (kidding!!)

And here we are back at Day 39. Feeling, as I said, a bit discouraged for falling behind. I have learned a couple things though. 1. Even writing this update/confession has made me feel a bit better. 2. This PROVES the level of intention and awareness that relationships require. It is soooo easy to let life “get in the way” And it’s so important to think about ways to daily invest in your relationship.

And to Kevin, when you read this…..sorry for taking my frustration out on you. I was feeling yucky about falling behind, and was embarrassed by it. And I just wanted YOU to fix it! Thanks for all the sweet and loving things you have done during the past 39 days. Although we’re not officially done until tomorrow – I would give you an A!!

Wendy
ps…didn’t quite make the 1000 words….but I hope I’ve drawn a clear picture.

Love Dare 32 – a confession…hmmm…curious?

Kudos to Jeeva and Chris for their updates!! Good job guys.

Here’s our 2 cents.
Kevin & Wendy

Deep thoughts…by Wendy Pauls

Some general thoughts and insights on the entire Love Dare Challenge and also about Day 30 . I do a lot of talking with my hands in this clip- so you can tell I’m really “into it”
Hope there’s something here to help you along the way : )

Wendy

oneness…day 30

WOW – oneness…when you read today’s dare is so much more than meets the eye…it is really deep! ONENESS! What that really means! Not a surface kind of oneness…but biblical oneness…That is very difficult to achieve but it is so worth the sacrifice to try and create. I was inspired by this chapter. I don’t think this is something that we can discuss today and forget about it. This is definitely a process and something that I will enjoy revisiting…I want that kind of marriage and even though I am in Edmonton and not able to communicate with Wendy face to face…I have a feeling that she wants this as well!

As I said…not a simple concept, but the end result is a perspective on marriage that we don’t often have…a true vision of oneness…WORTH THE SACRIFICE!!

What did you get from today? What was your conversation with your spouse like…di you even go there??

LOVE to hear from you!!

Thanks,

Kevin

love dare 29 @ Break Forth

Day 27 & 28

Just a quick check in from us. As I mention in the clip, the past couple of days have been mostly “discussion points” in our home. I (Wendy) have held unrealistic expectations of Kevin at many times throughout our marriage (envisioning in my mind the way things “should” play out) but have learned that in doing so, I am often setting myself up for disappointment. And as far as meeting needs – what we came up with is pretty basic stuff…but we are both thankful (Hey…it’s the thought that counts, right?) Wendy

Day 26 – taking responsibility for your faults – ouch!

As we mention in the video, today’s chapter begins with “Today will be hard.” It’s tough enough to go looking for your faults…but then confessing them and asking for forgiveness – wow. That is hard.

We chat about some of our thoughts around this and encourage you, as usual, to chat with us on the blog.
Thanks for checking in!