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The final wrap up of the dare…

Kevin and Wendy — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:27:21 +0000

Well, it is over…are we better for it? Did it do what we hoped? Did it encourage? Well…the answer is I think so!! The love dare is a process…The love dare is not a quick fix in my books…the long term implications may not be felt for a little while, but I can tell you this…
1. Wendy and I love each other very much!!
2. Wendy and I spent 4o days working on loving each other more!
3. Wendy and I had to talk about “us” for 40 days
4. Wendy and I had to be open and honest with the world and report how we were doing
5. I had to try everyday to spend time working on my marriage…

The list of things we had to do is long…
Look at these items that I listed…HOW COULD THIS NOT BE A GOOD THING!!!

Yes, we did fall off the wagon for the last few days…we were far from the perfect couple for the blogging etc…BUT – we were forced (nicely) to think about how we make “us” better everyday!

I am looking forward to the discussion on FULL CIRCLE on Friday…I got to spend time telling Wendy I love her, showing her I love her and than praying and thinking and talking to God about ways to make this marriage better…

I am honored that we were chosen…I am better off today than I was 40 days ago! I pray that watching this and following along helped you to focus on your marriage!

You know, Satan does not want us to succeed in our marriages! If he can get us so focused on other things, so focused on our own needs and what we want…on BEING HAPPY!!!, than we will focus our attention of things other than our marriage! I want to think about having a fantastic marriage. The great thing is this…no matter how good it is…it can be better!!

I look forward to continued work on our relationship privately…but if you continue to follow me on facebook, twitter or my website – you will see my blogs and other things pointing to my relationship with Wendy…My kids are important to me, my career is important to me…my friends and family are important…BUT if my marriage falls apart…well let’s just say, I will do everything in my power to live the love dare everyday of every year to ensure that GOD is #1 in our relationship and that WENDY knows I love her more than anything else…

So – I pray that you were as encouraged as we were…stay in touch!! goto www.kevinpauls.com sign up for my newsletter…

Thanks,

Kevin

The Love Dare–Day 40

Jeeva and Sulojana — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 05:48:38 +0000

Well, here we are, at the end of the 40 day Love Dare…The first part of today’s dare is to renew our wedding vows…

Then, we talk primarily about what God revealed to us during these past 40 days about each other, about our marriage, etc…be blessed!

Thank you everybody, for sharing this journey with us for the past 40 days. Thank you, Chris & Lisa, Kevin & Wendy, for all that you’ve shared on the blog. We look forward to meeting you in person on Friday…three more sleeps God bless!

Love Dare #40

Chris and Lisa — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 04:24:35 +0000

Hey,

Here it is, the final dare… Thanks everyone, it has been a great experience!

Chris and Lisa

The Love Dare–Day 39

Jeeva and Sulojana — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 07:28:29 +0000

Wow…just one more day left in the Love Dare! Here we are on Day 39…no sneak preview today…you need to watch

Day 40 – Love is a covenant

huntley — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 05:01:25 +0000

Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. — Ruth 1:16

Today’s Dare

Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home. Perhaps, if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister and with family present. Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God’s eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate.

What has God revealed to you during the Love Dare? How have your views of your marriage changed? How committed are you to God and to your spouse? Who can you share this with as a testimony?

The 585 word update

Kevin and Wendy — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 03:59:46 +0000

Please note: tried to give this update via webcam, but youtube said, and I quote, “This functionality is not available right now. Please try again later. ” So, I will update with words (guess I need at least 1000 to equal a picture??)

It’s Day 39.…and I’m feeling a bit discouraged. Not sure what happened exactly. Just lost the rhythm I guess. I don’t know if I have actually completed any of the Dares from the last few days. It’s true we have been busy – but I’m a believer that you make time for what’s important! So – that excuse doesn’t even hold water for me.

I started to lose steam with Day 33 which focused on including spouse with upcoming decisions. We do that all the time. Most mornings we spend 30 – 45 mins talking over coffee to start the day. And our talks frequently cover upcoming decisions, opportunities etc. So I guess in one sense, I have completed that dare. But I just didn’t feel like I had anything new to share – and I’m afraid people might be getting tired of the response “well, this is something we already do” BORING! LOL

Then came Day 34 – “Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.” We did talk about this one and could think of lots of christian character….but no recent examples. I even asked Kevin to help me find one about him. “honey, tell me a way your have demonstrated Christian character recently” I will say that the first thing that came to my mind when I read that one is that Kevin is very forgiving and doesn’t hold grudges.

Day 35 – we were actually speaking on the program via telephone on this day and Moira asked us about the christian mentor thing. And, we don’t have one. I think for at least the past 10 years, we have been the ones in the mentor role rather than the “mentees” (is that a word?) So, didn’t really know what to do about this dare.

Day 36 – commit to reading the Bible together daily. This is a good one!! While we didn’t start on Day 36, this is definitely one I want to continue!!

Day 37 - praying together. This is something we do…but could definitely do more of! Will try to focus on making Dare 36 and 37 regular habits.

Day 38 - “Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.” Can I really help Kevin become a Rock Star? (kidding!!)

And here we are back at Day 39. Feeling, as I said, a bit discouraged for falling behind. I have learned a couple things though. 1. Even writing this update/confession has made me feel a bit better. 2. This PROVES the level of intention and awareness that relationships require. It is soooo easy to let life “get in the way” And it’s so important to think about ways to daily invest in your relationship.

And to Kevin, when you read this…..sorry for taking my frustration out on you. I was feeling yucky about falling behind, and was embarrassed by it. And I just wanted YOU to fix it! Thanks for all the sweet and loving things you have done during the past 39 days. Although we’re not officially done until tomorrow – I would give you an A!!

Wendy
ps…didn’t quite make the 1000 words….but I hope I’ve drawn a clear picture.

Love Dare #39

Chris and Lisa — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 02:07:12 +0000

Hey Everyone,

Ok… You have to watch the video to see if we accomplished everything…

Chris and Lisa

Love Dare #38

Chris and Lisa — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 14:18:37 +0000

Hey,

We did it together again… Lisa had to help me through it after my disappointment… Listen to see why!

Chris and Lisa

The Love Dare–Day 38

Jeeva and Sulojana — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 05:35:50 +0000

Today we share a dream that we can help our partner translate into reality in the very near future…be blessed!

Day 39 – Love endures

huntley — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 05:01:16 +0000

Love never fails. — 1 Corinthians 13:8

Today’s Dare

Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.

What were some of the hesitations you had in writing this letter? How do you expect your spouse to respond to it? How did God help you in writing it, and what did the process teach you about yourself?

Love Dare #37

Chris and Lisa — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 13:23:19 +0000

Hey,

We are together again… Here are our thoughts…

Chris and Lisa

The Love Dare–Day 37

Jeeva and Sulojana — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 07:16:56 +0000

Praying together as a couple has been part of our lives for a while now…that’s exactly what we’ll be doing as soon as this blog is published! Give a listen to how important this is for us as you press “Play.” Be blessed!

Day 38 – Love fulfills dreams

huntley — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 05:01:42 +0000

Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart. — Psalm 37:4

Today’s Dare

Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.

What has made you resistant to fulfilling your mate’s desires in the past? How would it change your relationship if they knew their dreams were a priority to you? What desires are you attempting to meet?

The Love Dare–Day 36

Jeeva and Sulojana — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 07:51:30 +0000

Today we share how we’re putting into practice this dare about getting into God’s word together as a couple. As you will hear shortly, we are putting out an invitation to you, our legion of loyal viewers, to help us with something specific that is called for by this dare…By the way, there is an interruption in the video…in case you’re wondering, it is the sound of our alarm system responding to the door being opened by our son…please do not be, er, alarmed!…alright, go ahead, watch the video now!

Love Dare #36

Chris and Lisa — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 05:09:45 +0000

Hey,

It’s me again… Here we go!

Chris

Day 37 – Love agrees in prayer

huntley — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 05:01:15 +0000

If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father. — Matthew 18:19

Today’s Dare

Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do this, whether it’s in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don’t forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.

What can you do to help your mate be willing for the two of you to begin praying together? If you agreed to pray together, what was it like? What did you learn from it?

The Love Dare–Day 35

Jeeva and Sulojana — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 05:57:52 +0000

Marriage mentors…what a great idea! As we share in this video, we have experienced marriage mentorship in the past (first from our parents, then through one specific couple and others in the churches we’ve served), although we would not have labelled it as such at the time…and are seeking the Lord about entering into an intentional mentorship with a couple at this time…be blessed!

Day 36 – Love is God’s Word

huntley — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 05:01:30 +0000

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. — Psalm 119:105

Today’s Dare

Commit to reading the Bible every day. Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you. Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.

What parts of your life are in the greatest need of God’s counsel? Where do you feel the most susceptible to failure? What are you asking God to show you through His Word?

Love Dare #35

Chris and Lisa — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 04:05:19 +0000

Hey Everyone,

Here are my thoughts…

Chris

The Love Dare–Day 34

Jeeva and Sulojana — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 07:10:32 +0000

As we tried to think of examples of Christian character, the Holy Spirit highlighted for us the “fruit of the Spirit” passage in Galatians 5:22-23 as one that we could use as a yardstick–love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…and we did in coming up what we share on this video…be blessed!

Day 35 – Love is accountable

huntley — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 05:01:27 +0000

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. — Proverbs 15:22 (NIV)

Today’s Dare

Find a marriage mentor—someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.

Who did you choose? Why did you select this person? What do you hope to learn from them?

Love Dare #34

Chris and Lisa — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 03:00:35 +0000

Hey,

It was my turn again tonight… Here goes!

Lisa

The Love Dare–Day 33

Jeeva and Sulojana — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:41:59 +0000

After making Jeeva go solo yesterday, Sulojana gets back in the picture today and you get to see how we complete each other, especially when it comes to decision-making.

Love Dare #33

Chris and Lisa — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:01:57 +0000

Hey,

It’s just me again… Lisa is sick and so I am filling in!

Chris

Day 34 – Love celebrates godliness

huntley — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:01:31 +0000

[Love] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. — 1 Corinthians 13:6

Today’s Dare

Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.

What example did you choose to recognize? How many other ways could you celebrate their growth in godliness? How could you encourage them to persevere in it?

Love Dare 32 – a confession…hmmm…curious?

Kevin and Wendy — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 04:48:48 +0000

Kudos to Jeeva and Chris for their updates!! Good job guys.

Here’s our 2 cents.
Kevin & Wendy

The Love Dare–Day 32

Jeeva and Sulojana — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 16:28:17 +0000

Sorry about the delay in posting this…but this Dare forced us to stay awake a bit later than normal and we couldn’t get to the camera until this morning

Love Dare #32

Chris and Lisa — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 06:39:08 +0000

Hey,

OK… Here we go… Ready or not…

Chris

Day 33 – Love completes each other

huntley — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 05:01:55 +0000

If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? — Ecclesiastes 4:11

Today’s Dare

Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.

What are some upcoming decisions you can make together? What did you learn today about the role of your mate?

Day 32 – Love meets sexual needs

huntley — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 05:01:10 +0000

The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. — 1 Corinthians 7:3

Today’s Dare

If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.

Was this a satisfying experience for you? If it didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, what do you think is complicating matters? Have you committed this to prayer? If it was a true blessing for both of you, what can you learn from this for the future?